rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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