So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize