oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
