11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
