Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
