if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
