Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
