Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
