I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
