Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
