Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize