it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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