Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
