I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize