I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize