just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
