Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
