He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize