Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
