what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
