He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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