did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
