it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My pussy is not your playground.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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