I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
