I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
