Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
