you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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