I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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