Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is it penis luge time yet?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize