Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
