Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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