I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
