i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh god it's open bar.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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