Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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