Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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