Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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