do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
time to smoke my breakfast
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
