i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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