please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
