he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
