why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
