When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
