All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize