This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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