So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
