we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
