You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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