there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
