I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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