the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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