We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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