Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
