remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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