Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
