i'm signing you up for texting rehab
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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