Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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