she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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