No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
