How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
