Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
