im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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