well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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